


At what cost?

by LunaLovegood2417



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Madness, The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, Time Skips, death by fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29078520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaLovegood2417/pseuds/LunaLovegood2417
Summary: At what cost does power come? Family? Blood? Sanity? And what is the price worth paying?
Relationships: Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks (mentioned), Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Voldemort, Cygnus Black/Druella Rosier Black, Narcissa Black Malfoy/Lucius Malfoy (implied)
Kudos: 4





	At what cost?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Useful_Oxymoron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useful_Oxymoron/gifts).



A/N Prompts were Respect, Malfoy Manor and Rain along with a dialogue which was "Can't you just be proud of me for once?". Please read, review and favorite!

Trigger warnings: Character death

August 15th, 1969

“Can't you just be proud of me for once? This mark, this job, I’m doing it all for you!”

My voice echoed on the old walls of Black manor, filling the room with my voice. I could almost feel it move through me, the hereditary Black family madness that had always been waiting at the wings, finally released, wreaking havoc within my mind. My parents disapproving eyes burned scorch marks into my skin, and I couldn’t hold onto my temper any longer. 

Suddenly there was heat, pulsing from the mark I had received just hours ago spread through my body. Chaos wound a path through my thoughts and a million anguished voices were screaming, trying to bestow their plight upon me.

All I could do was flee, trying to leave them behind. The voices, the voices, the voices, make them stop! I clutched my head, agony bursting forth, surrounding the only sane thought left in my head.

Run.

I could barely hear my parents anymore over the wordless screaming, their panicked shouting now a memory, their horrified faces barely ghosts. I fled through the halls, tripping over ornate rugs and ancient furniture in my haste to leave, until I was bent over gasping for air, precious air. 

A smell reached my nose, a horrible one of flames and fire and death. The smoke began to fill my lungs, the fire now a tangible presence in my chest. The flames that were lit in my chest had burst forth into life and were ripping at my childhood home, tearing apart my memories of Cissa, Andy and I. My smoke hazed brain didn’t react as I reached forwards to touch a scarlet flame. At the pain, I recoiled and my consciousness sprang back to me, a blackened hand to show for my stupidity. My thoughts were harried, like rabbits in a run, my usually focused and adept mind in scrambles and I made one of the worst decisions in my short life. 

The floor powder glittered at me from above the fireplace. I grabbed a handful and threw it into the now lit fireplace. 

“Malf… Malfo… Malfoy Manor!”

I gasped and smoke filled my lungs, choking me. As the world spun, I saw a person with a halo of golden hair leaning over me.

The world went black.

I saw all around me a blackened world. Flames had ravished this place, but how? I didn’t remember. Where were my memories? A figure walked forwards, melting out of the darkness into my vision.

It was my father, but not as he had been in life. Instead of the cool facade, he was burnt almost beyond recognition and his eyes, the dullest grey in real life were alight with flames.

“Bellatrix.”

He rumbled and I tried to swallow, but my throat was drier than a desert. “Father? Where are we?”

He said something so quiet I could barely hear it. “You killed me.”

“I’m sorry Father, I couldn’t quite hear you.” My voice was weak, the ash making me choke. He snarled at me before taking a step in my direction. “You KILLED me.” I stumbled backwards, feebly trying to keep away from his blackened, grasping hands. 

“YOU KILLED ME!”

He was getting closer. I ran into a wall behind me. He was now so close I could smell the cigar on his breath and feel the flames emanating from his eyes. His warm breath hit my face in waves of heat.

“And now I will kill you.” His quiet conviction was far more terrifying than his anger, and I knew I couldn’t possibly survive this. His hands were around my neck and I couldn’t breathe and then…

I woke up screaming, my hands clawing at my hair. “Father!” I gasped out, hot tears pooling in my eyes. It couldn’t have been. He was dead. He and Mama were dead. There was no love lost between us, but even so, killing someone tears the soul a little even if you hate them. A hand ran through my hair, startling me.

“Shh, Trix, you’re ok. You’re safe.”

I recognized the beautiful voice. A feeling of shame washed over me, for how must it have looked to her? The feeling left me when I turned around to face her. Cissy sat there, her expression worried and yet comforting. “Trix, what happened?”

Though her tone was soft, the question (or rather, demand) was sharp as glass. It cut through me and I felt myself crumbling. Through tears I explained. “Cissy, I can’t do this anymore. Mama and Father… the fire… I don’t…”

Her hand stilled and pulled away. “Bella, are they dead?”

I couldn’t say anything, couldn’t even look at her, but my silence confirmed it. Her breath hitched in shock, and I could feel her disappointment radiating from her in waves, crashing over my head and drowning me in my shame. I pushed off of her lap and looked into her grey eyes, so alike to Fathers yet warmer and kinder somehow. This kindness wasn’t reflected now. Her eyes were almost dead but for the grief haunting them. 

She stared at me with those empty eyes, seemingly burning a hole through my temple. 

“You killed them. Was it for him or for yourself? Was it at the urging of your mark or did you choose to kill them? Can you answer me?”

My mark burnt. “Do your job! Disrespect! She must DIE” I couldn’t silence it. I stood. “Cissy, it isn’t controlling me, and besides this means everything to me. Don’t take this away too. Even if I wanted to, this job is all I have keeping me anchored.”

My swollen black mark bared to the light twisted in anger. She reached to touch it but I stopped her with a slap. “Do you wish to summon him here?” I hissed, venom entering my voice. She yanked her hand away violently and studied her hand carefully, to discern in vain if any dark magic may have transferred, touch or no touch.

My mark screamed at me, letting me know of my Lord's need for me. I was a little disappointed that our time was cut short, but the mark was more powerful, and soon enough it was the only thing I could feel. I stood. “Cissy I have to go. He calls for me.”

She reached out as if to stop me but then she thought better of it. I took a pinch of floo powder before throwing it into the flames. “Riddle Manor.” I called, and the last thing I saw was Cissy, head in her hands, seemingly crying.

31st October 1980

Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. Killed by a BOY? AN INFANT? IT ISN’T FAIR HE MUST DIE! It hardly feels possible. I would kill the boy, I told myself. I apparated to my childhood home, hoping for answers or at least a way forwards.

I don’t know why I went there, but maybe it was because it used to be home. Maybe because even though the structure was burnt, it still resembled the place where my sisters - sister and I had played knights and dragons. Maybe it was because despite the wreckage surrounding the once majestic oak tree I could still see the tree house we had spent nights in, dreaming of our futures. Maybe it was because of the feeling of magic stronger than age that I went there.

But maybe it was because I was trying to find reason for my actions, for my thoughts, when in fact there were none and there will never be any.

The ruins of Black Manor were tragic. Ironic really, considering the ruins my life was in. A lovely parallel. My Lord was dead… I could hardly comprehend it, for how could a squalling, sniveling infant kill my all powerful Lord? Death was the only enemy of a wizard even as great as he. I wandered through the once-parlour, gently dusting off the frame of a picture, its shattered glass gone. The picture was of Cissy, myself and her. Bloodtraitor filth. She could rot in hell for all I cared. 

Though I hated her so, the picture made me squirm slightly, guilt coursing through my veins. I dropped the photo frame. Guilt? Bellatrix Lestrange doesn't feel GUILT for anyone let alone a Bloodtraitor! Uncomfortable, I set the photo alight, not keen to relive memories I had no interest in unearthing. I wandered through the burnt halls, heading for Father’s old study. I had a job to do. 

When I got there I stopped in my tracks. Narcissa. She turned when she heard footsteps. Her hallowed form was pale and thin against the burnt, blackened interior of what used to be the study. Her eyes, a perfect reflection of our fathers were like the eyes of a rabbit who has just seen the fox. I stalked closer to her. “Bella, he's dead. Gone. He was killed by a boy!” 

Anger welled and something in me snapped. “Dead? HE IS NOT DEAD! My LORD would NEVER abandon us!” 

Narcissa shook her head sadly. “Bella, he’s gone. We can go back to the way we were before if you..”

How DARE she? Before? NEVER!

“The way we were before? Why would I want to FRATERNIZE with BLOOD TRAITOR FILTH LIKE ANDROMEDA!?”

Silence. My lips tingled. I hadn’t said that name in ten years, not since she ran to be with the mudblood. I shook my head, trying to dispel the strange feeling before I took a breath. 

“We will never be the same again, and all I’ve got left from then is this job. I swear, I will raise him from the ground again if I have to! Do you know why? Because He means everything to me Cissy, don’t you understand?” I pleaded, hoping for understanding. I didn’t see Cissy though. Instead I saw Narcissa Malfoy, disapproving and disgusted with me, her eyes harder than a stone wall as she stared at me impassively.

“No Bella, I don’t understand, and don’t ask me to. If I were you I would leave now. The aurors will be looking for you considering who you gave your life to.”

She stood and stalked from the room, gone from my view before I heard a crack of apparition. I held my head in my hands. Where was the awe? The fear? After all I did? After all I sacrificed? Where was her respect for my losses? Where was the respect I so dearly craved?

I turned on my heel and aparated away. She would never understand me. After all, the only reason I did anything was for power, and I now knew that only He could give it to me. I would do my job proudly. I’d burn the world if I had to, to find him.

A/N  
Poor Bella, her new job cost her everything. Please read and review!


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